Strange Editing Terms I Love to Use

All writers edit. Or at least, they should edit. Trusting that shit to an AI is not something I want to do, and others with experience in the things know that the AIs are not up to the task. Humans are better at this stuff. Trust me.

But regardless of machines versus mankind, I have come across (and invented) a few terms that drive some of my compatriots up the wall. [Hi, Deathshead!]

Typo

We should all know typo. The thing where you meant to type one thing - and maybe thought you did - but the word came out wrong on the page. Either that or autocorrect bit you in the bum.

The best way to find these is to read your stuff out loud. It doesn't matter if that audience is a friend, loved one, rubber duck, or teddy bear. Once you slow down enough to say it, you see it.

Plot Knot

This one happens a lot to "discovery writers" aka Pantsers. Character A and Character B must meet at Place X to fulfil The Prophecy [dramatic sting]. BUT Character B is elbows-deep in political shenanigans on Continent Y whilst Character A is stuck in an oubliette. Character A's friends and allies are scattered in five separate places with no clue that Character A needs their help. And the seed for this level of bullshit is fifteen to fifty chapters back and can't be rewritten without disassembling three years' worth of work.

Also known as an "embuggerance" to the Terry Pratchett fans. The author who finds one of these needs a lot of Hail Maries or a complete root canal to fix that shit.

Rabbit Hole

Also known as a Wiki Walk, or Highly Distracting Research. It may also involve the Elven Boots. As a writer, it may be fun to find things out, world build, or otherwise invest your time in anything other than writing your book. Looking stuff up and faffing around on the internet gives more dopamine than having to fight That Paragraph. I know you know the one.

Hocus Pocus, you gotta try and focus. Give yourself dopamine with a small reward after you've done your assigned input for the day.

Plot Sinkhole

Your characters are spiralling around that one minor plot thread instead of moving along with the main plot. They're spending five chapters arguing with a rock whilst allegedly trying to find an amulet that never fucking mattered.

Your best bet is to cut that stuff from the book. Put it somewhere else with different characters at a later date.

Edit Bones

This is one of mine. You did solo editing and you think you got everything. Then you get other eyes on it and they end up spotting missing words, half sentences, bits of narrative that don't fit any more.

Those are edit bones. And yes, you do need other eyes to fix them.

Ghost Half

You could swear blind you wrote the entire sentence. You know you did. Yet (again) when other eyes are looking, there's half of it that was never there. So you have to fill that shit in.

I have written so many Ghost Halves in my time. It's bordering on hilarious. For thee, not me.

Root Canal

Going over it from the bottom to the top. But more torturous because you loved what you already did. And you know it's too far from perfect. So you have to rip up the whole thing and get into the most basic of basics to build it up all over again.

And it hurts. So very, very much. A complete rewrite might hurt less, but you also don't want to risk it.

Log Jam

So you have Project A, which is the thing that is going to be The Thing(tm). And you're supposed to be working on it, but your muse or your mind is entrapped in something else. That something is not only dominating your life, but also all of your working energy. Now you have the New Thing(tm) that the spirits of creativity have compelled you to invest in.

For example: I was writing the Kingdom of Sand trilogy, but A Devil's Tale became my Log Jam on that thing. All credit to Deathshead, who I mentioned earlier.

Elven Boots

This is a world-building metaphor. You introduce -for example- an Elf. As an exotic character, you feel the need to go into depth on everything about them. Elven hairstyle, Elven attitude, and Elven clothes. Right down to the leather of their boots and the thread they're stitched with.

Next thing you know, you're researching dyes and where they come from and not writing the bloody book.

Forget about the Elf's damn boots. Just get on with the plot.

Ghost Plot

Your characters are on a rollicking adventure to find, secure, or destroy the Macguffin of Contention. At least for the first handful of chapters. Partway through, they have wandered off that main plotline, and are deep in courtly intrigue somewhere in the literary equivalent of Eastern Kraplaquistan.

And you have no idea how the hell that happened. The whole thing needs some serious detective work and maybe a root canal. Sorry.

Free Floating Character

You last saw this character in Eastern Westvale. That was about twenty different action beats ago. They should not be three whole kingdoms away in the court of the Grand Duke StuffedShirt, but there they are. What the fuck? How and why did they get there? We don't know because you didn't write that bit.

Maybe keep notes on these little shits. Or invest in the literary equivalent of a short leash.

Count The Hands

This one applies more to smut, but it can happen in fight sequences. You'd never think that writing involves some degree of choreography, but here we are. You do indeed need to track what A's left hand is doing that B's wiggly bits want to know about.

Having a decent idea of how anatomy can willingly bend is also a good idea. Unless one of your characters can do advanced yoga.

It gets even more interesting if your characters have more than the usual number prehensile limbs.

The solution for this one is in the title. Count them. Keep track of them. Pay attention. And yes, it is just as much of a pain in the arse as you might imagine.

Ghost Character

Antagonist P has been a thorn in your protagonist's side for half the book. Or Character F has been an essential helpmeet in your protagonist's quest. Then they vanish from the narrative without a trace. Either way, your audience wants to know what the fuck happened to them.

Where did they wander off to?

Best to show the audience or put in a bit where the Ghost Character has some kind of ending of their own.

You may not like these. You may not use these. They're just odd little terms that I have picked up like a lint roller picks up cat hair. And I wanted to share.