Rona, Mismanaged

If you listen to some corners of the news, Covid-19 is "making a comeback" or "making a return" or about to do the same. This in spite of the fact that it never actually went away. The entire population of the planet just spontaneously decided to collectively ignore it and hope that it actually did go away. As if chanting "Covid is gone" can actually make that happen.

They just gave up.

Because businesses were starting to suffer monetary losses.

Nevermind the people losing their firkin lives. The money's way more important than that. And then some allegedly 'great' leader, later a convicted felon, decided to make safety measures into a political issue. So all of his loyal sheeple up and made it too difficult to maintain the rules made for everyone's safety.

The Antivaxx movement had Glorious Leader Support. It's just about firkin unstoppable now.

It's so bad that they're thinking up conspiracies to blame for every Antivaxxer falling sick from assorted diseases, including the Rona.

For me, the worst part is that there are fewer places giving out vaccines, and a scarcity of them in the places that have them. I had to go a-hunting for literal years to find the new vaccine. That time of course is expanded by my own spotty memory failing to remember to actually look for the thing.

As I said to the folks at the medical centre, it's as if the administration has decided to solve the housing crisis by allowing the older people to perish from the plague. Speaking as an older people, I can't say I agree with the strategy. I also sincerely doubt that that this is actually what's going on.

That requires a government that can actually plan.

No, what really happened was that people could make money out of bullshit 'cures' and clickbait alarmist articles combined with some odd conspiracy. The clickbait generates add revenue, and nobody clicks on clickbait than an under-educated rube who believes the first thing they're told by someone who's loud enough and speaks with sufficient authority.

These are the same under-educated rubes who unironically wear adult nappies to 'support' their Glorious Leader. Or at least show some kind of weird solidarity.

BUT... because of all that malarky, there's a new variant of the plague about to lay waste to the globe. Again. And a new iteration of people who are just Too Special to listen to the people who want to keep them alive in spite of themselves. There has to be a way to disrupt the cycle.

Here's my ideas:

Step 1: PSA's

The real trick is to make them simple enough for the mislead sheeple to understand, but also not condescending enough to make them hate the stuff. Informative enough so they can learn a thing or two whilst also not challenging their extant beliefs.

No pressure.

You just need someone loud and authorative who just doubles down on everything. Just like their Glorious Leader. The convicted felon.

Step 2: Free PPE

I am, of course, assuming that my imaginary government has unlocked the infinite money glitch. Each household gets the best possible mask and a free hand sanitizer keychain that they can refill at public stops. We can even hire people to refill the keychains.

Because one of the most annoying things about the facilities against Rona is that every single hand sanitizer station is always firkin empty.

All this PPE is delivered by mail to each household and sent out whenever the last lot is due to expire. The keychains would be in the first bundle and further ones available by request at the refill station.

With any luck, the fact that it's free will override any conspiracies about "Big Pharma" profiting from the endeavour.

Step 3: Make Vaccines Patriotic Again

Vaccines need a PR boost. Making them a patriotic duty might just sway the violently jingoistic section of the loyal sheeple. If you can't sway them with science, pulverise them with patriotism and then maybe baffle them with BS.

Pay some right-wing mouthpiece to keep up the news that 'They' are trying to keep them from taking the vaccines to make them weak... and all the other stuff. Weaponise the conspiracies until they're beating down the door to get all the jabs their nappy-wearing butts can take.

Throw in enough buzzword salad during the rhetoric and they'll fall for it.

Step 4: Law and Order regarding Lockdowns

I personally doubt they'll try the "shelter in place" tactic again, but if they do... Automatic charges of Public Endangerment for anyone violating the safety guidelines. Maybe even allow Citizens' Arrests so that the red-hats can throw their weight around at others. So long as they're also obeying the rules.

Once they're sticklers for following the rules so they can be bullies about the rules... there'll be very few people breaking them.

These are the same kinds of people who are tinpot dictators about lawn depths in HOA's after all.

Step 5: The Cotton Wool Treatment

No matter what we do about the situation, there will always be some fragile, angry snowflake who refuses to do anything that benefits anyone but themselves. For them, there's only one thing to do:

Wrap them up in cotton wool and keep them in a very soft room until the crisis has ended.

We can even call them "freedom lounges" if need be.

I wonder how many "Poor people just need to work harder" types would leap at the chance to lounge about in a catered, soft cocoon until the crisis was over? Then again, hypocrisy has always been their modus operandi.

I... might be a bit bitter about this entire mess.