My Usual Site is Down

So now I’m blogging here.

This may be your only warning to take cover. Because I’m about to get my rant on.

So this noise happens JUST as school is beginning, so my shit is already all over the place. I notified Beloved on the day I noticed the anomaly, the 31st of January. Beloved being our household alpha nerd.

During this week, it was also known that Chaos, our youngest, has been ganking our bandwidth by watching every youtube video ever. And Mayhem, the older brother, has been discovered ganking our budget by using his mobile phone as a hotspot so he can have better internet access for Overwatch.

We can’t stop Chaos, shy of making some kind of nanny program that shuts her off after a consecutive number of videos/replays/reloads. But at least Mayhem has sworn off the mobile hotspot bullshit for the meanwhile. Win some, can’t win some.

Also during this week, I have been sending Beloved intermittent updates on what internutter.org’s error messages were on the assumption that they were keeping tabs on this sort of shit.

This weekend just gone, I practically begged my Beloved to firkin fix my main hub. The central point in my web game. The starting point that links to every firkin thing else. The one place I tell EVERYONE to look up so they can pick the flavour of my products and decide whether or not to give me money on their own. My HOME PAGE. My cornerstone of what passes for my industry. The place online that, if it’s down, makes me look bad.

So of course my Beloved leaps to my aid and knocks themselves sideways to…

…not even look at it.

Sigh. I am frustrate.

Alongside the back-to-school nonse, which always knocks me for a loop, there has been a change in schedule. Meaning that Chaos gets to her special bus at anywhere between 8AM and 8:30. Which means I have to drive Mayhem to his school, drive back, lie in wait in my special Duck Hide for the bus, and bundle Chaos along to her educational establishment… and then do whatever the shit I need to get done. Including long, convoluted road trips to whichever source of cheap shit I need at the time.

NOT helped by the fact that long, convoluted car trips are THE WORST for yours truly. I swear, the first thing I do when I get a regular income from my writing is getting an assistant to go do these humdrum firkin fetch quests for me. So I’m not worn out by just driving around for shit.

Add to that a solid dose of This Month’s Lurgi and you have a very pissed-off author on your hands. Or you would if you actually cared to hang around. Nope. Your average, ordinary, everyday ‘Nutter gets to cope with this on hir own. Don’t mind me. Just tired off of my arse and I still have to go on a firkin runaround just to get the things that will (a) help me feel better and (b) help me get better. Don’t stir yourselves. Don’t lift a finger. I’m fine.

I’m (coughs up half a lung) fine…

No, but seriously, folks. The first thing that goes when I have any kind of virus is lung capacity. My asthma is my achilles’ heel. It’s probably going to kill me one day. BUT, you can bet I gave it a knock-down, drag-out fight along the way because… Fuck. That.

Of the numerous things Keto has done for me [one of which is help me lose about 12 kilos] making my asthma almost nonexistent is a definite bonus. Alas, Keto does not help ward of viral infestations and when those happen, I am chained to my nebuliser. Yay.

And to add somewhat of an insult to injury, I finished a WIP I put up last week on my Patreon. Which means that existing Patrons have a week to enjoy that sneak peek before I’m obligated to post it on AO3 and erase it from my Patreon feed. And I’m also obligated to come up with some extra content for my $5 Patrons so that they don’t decide their money is better spent in other avenues.

Well. If I had $5 Patrons…

Gotta encourage them somehow. Right?

I’ve now taken way more than my usual dose of caffeine on top of some Preventers to help me breathe. I have the Shakes. I feel like shit. I’m tired. And I still have to go out on the road to obtain:

• tissues
• chicken thighs
• tomatoes (slightly overripe)
• comfort vegetables
• smol pop-tops of Keto-friendly Tuna or Salmon for Chaos (if possible!)
• And if I can get little sachets of mayo or aoli, I am in.

And I’m running low on fuel, money, energy and patience.

Yee-firkin-haw.