In Praise of Retro Tech

I may be an old fart yelling at clouds, but I am certain that we don't need an internet connection to make toast or keep food cold. I just don't see why it's necessary.

I don't like touch screens on ATM's, I'd rather have cash than a credit card, and I don't want my phone to always know where I am. I give as little information as I can to the interwebs because I don't want complete randos finding me.

The last time I went shopping for a device for the kitchen, I deliberately went looking for the dumbest version they had. With real buttons. One that does one thing and does it well.

Don't get me wrong, touchscreens have their place, it's just not where blind people need to also use them. Or where you can fumble your way into pressing the wrong thing and accidentally order a model nuclear processor on Amazon. Or a nuclear strike on Eastern Kraplaquistan. Trust me, accidental touchscreen contact can work confounding things on the level of jeans pockets with corded earbuds in them.

I have found this out whilst attempting to work my phone timer app without my glasses in the morning.

So for many, many other things, give me buttons and switches I can feel. Give me haptic and auditory feedback when I activate or de-activate something. Give me my click, clack, clunk, and whirr. Give me tech that goes "kachonk".

Because it's satisfying, that's why.

And especially, give me machines that don't show my greasy fingermarks. I might be lazy, but getting fingerschmeer off of my screens takes ages and ends up being Sisyphean to the extreme. Especially since the grease is wont to leave streaks as I attempt to clean.

Mysophobic screens might be a thing to consider. Just saying.

Technology has the capacity to make life easier for people. It's just that the stuff that looks and sounds cool tends to take precedence. And when that happens, problems rise. Moving fast and breaking things only works in specific circumstances.

Things that also move fast and break things are: tsunamis, cyclones, hurricanes, and bulls in china shops. Those end in disaster.

And what also seems odd is that the things that are broken don't really need to be broken. They turn into means by which to exploit both users and operators of the new and shiny system. Initially sold as a means by which people can "get a little extra income" on launch. Now? The only people "getting a little extra" are the shareholders and the geniuses who founded the new system.

I might be completely cynical about all of this, but it looks like this is the Age of the Scam. With the new master shysters being able to sell a bad idea as the next new thing. And don't get me started about Techbros and their obsession with pods.

It's only natural that some folks, younger folks than I, are picking up retrotech that still works. Some of it is even repairable, and that's the appeal. They don't want an app for that. They just want the thing to do what it's made to do. No internet connection necessary.

There's more people getting invested in DIY, and I think that's a good thing. Mass-produced, fast-use products aren't as satisfying as something that's going to last a while. There's a growing market for things that don't overrun the environment with permachemicals in the process of making it. There's genres of videos about the making of things. The process of making something be real from scratch.

They're not just entertainment, though they can be.

People are learning. People are sharing. People are making and building in spite of various movements breaking stuff.

I think the kids are going to be okay in the long run. But I do wonder about the technology.