Dear Conservatives...

If this article makes you angry, then I -a “libtard”- have won. I have won because my highlighting of your cognitive dissonance has caused you to react in the lowest possible way, by wanting to destroy me.

Dear Conservatives...

If this article makes you angry, then I -a "libtard"- have won. I have won because my highlighting of your cognitive dissonance has caused you to react in the lowest possible way, by wanting to destroy me. Let me make it clear, I don't hate you. I'm actually certain that you spend a majority of your days just like everyone else does, by just trying to make it through the current personal crisis. We are flawed humans together in this world.

That said, I despise your political views. You claim the moral high ground whilst sinking deeper and deeper into the quagmire of immoral choices, seemingly unaware of how base you become whilst lauding your purity.

One of my fellow libtards said it best:

A foetus is a person, but a baby doesn't deserve medical care and a child doesn't deserve to not be caged and a teenager doesn't deserve to not be shot at school and an adult doesn't deserve a living wage.Paraphrased from something I saw on Twitter via Tumblr

Let's face it, the things you think will work... just don't. Let's look at the common hot buttons together. Starting with the biggest of big guns.


This is often brought up in the same breaths as the "welfare queens" who allegedly have fifteen different kids via twelve different dads. I would think, as a moral person, you might want to involuntarily sterilise these "welfare queens" so that they couldn't keep having babies so they can "suckle on the government teat".

But that's not the point, is it?

You want to stop "immoral women" having sex. You want to make certain that sex only happens within sanctified heterosexual marriages because that's the moral way to do it. You want nobody to know how sex works because you think people won't do it if they don't know how.

You also want to prevent teens from getting pregnant, so you want to teach them that the only safe sex is no sex at all. Because that keeps them 'pure' for their inevitable heterosexual marriage, as is right and proper.

The facts -and I know you hate them- repeatedly state that 'abstinence only' sex education only results in more teen pregnancy. Why? If you tell kids that preventative measures don't work, then they won't employ them. Also, an interesting statistical phenomenon - the bulk of underaged teen girls who do get pregnant tend to get pregnant via a thirty-something grown-ass man... who is likely to be already married.

But rather than talking about perverted older men in the population who have this kind of power over underaged teens, you want to ban contraceptives because they'll only "encourage casual sex".

Pregnancy is proof that a woman has had sex. That's why you hate it in the underaged, the unmarried, and the unwealthy. Those people shouldn't be having sex, right? How else are you going to stop them?

Have you thought about adding your morals to what's shown on the entertainment screens? Banning pornography? Teaching men and boys alike to keep their penises under control?

But wait - self-stimulation for a release of sexual tension is also immoral. Looks like you backed yourself into a corner, there.

Maybe - just maybe - stop obsessing about sex and have more stories about how the personalities of the protagonists are what's attractive. But that's hard to sell in the beauty-centric industry, isn't it? Worse, it's hard to write in a heavily moralistic culture in which each marriage is a death sentence and every baby is a burden.

If it were me, and I've written a lot about this, I wouldn't want marriage to be a death sentence nor a baby to be a burden. I would want marriage to be a goal, and babies to be a boon.

Just admit you are sex repulsed and move on.

Socialised Medicine

It's weird how, if everyone gets the same medical care, then the commies have won. Isn't it in the best interests of commerce to make certain all the workers producing goods are healthy enough to keep producing those goods. But... that's not the case.

Study after study has proven that happiness in the worker leads to greater productivity and a rise in the economy as a result. Health in the worker does the exact same thing.

The allegedly moral reason is, of course, that if someone is too poor to afford the good medicine, then they've been judged by your invisible friend in the sky who is showing the world that they're actually bad. I just have one question:

Where in your holy book does it say that rich people are good?

I'll wait.

I know there's numerous passages about how the love of money is the root of all evil, or how a camel could pass through the eye of a needle before a rich man could enter heaven. I know of several religions that say you should give up worldly wants in order to ascend in the general order of things. I am absolutely certain that you can't take it with you when you go.

So let's start with something closer to your home. You. I know you conservatives are an egocentric bunch, so let's get as close to your life as we can. You're doing okay, you're comfortable, everything is fine and then - the curse of the modern white man, diabetus hits. Is that a judgement from the heavens?

Of course it isn't, you haven't done anything wrong. You've paid your taxes and everything. But you still have diabetes. You need to see three different experts and get some medicine, and -whoah- it's really expensive. Now your choice is whether or not you keep your house or your life. Is that a judgement from the heavens?

So maybe you move to cheaper housing. Maybe you live in your car. Maybe you amicably divorce from your spouse so they can keep the house and you can live in a shelter and hope for benefits. Except... now you're the drain on the economy because you're a homeless person wanting nothing but handouts. Are you suddenly a sinner?

Hell no. Nothing that happened in this hypothetical situation is your fault. It's also not the will of your invisible friend in the sky. Nope. It's a corporation that decided to hike up the price of a medicine that a majority of people need in order to live. They've pushed it to the breaking point, where you get "heartwarming" news stories about entire towns fundraising so a diabetic kid can live long enough to graduate from middle school.

Now let's look at the same situation where the libtards have already won.

You're doing okay, and diabetus hits. You see your local doctor, who gives you an option of referral to a public expert, who won't charge you, or a private one who will. You vote with your budget, and there's a waiting list, but there's also a list of things you can do to make sure your situation doesn't get worse while you're waiting. A list of things that scientific investigation has proven to be effective and -hey- all those cautions might be all that you need.

The wait isn't that long, government subsidies on the medical industry means that government doctors are always available. The expert costs you nothing, and the medicine you need can be attained for only slightly more than what it costs to make it.

You're still married, you still have a house, and you can continue on pretty much as close to normal as before. Not a death panel in sight.

I know which version I'd prefer.

Crime Prevention

There's too much violence and too much crime. I agree. Existing conservative policies would have a criminal punished for the rest of their lives. They made a moral mistake, so they apparently deserve to be less than human for the rest of their lives, paying for their sin with their sweat until they perish.

That includes making sure that they can't have a decent job after they get out of prison, making sure they can't vote, and making sure that they never, ever, forget that they did the wrong thing. That aughta teach them, right?

Er. No.

Turns out this sort of thing leads to a 100% recidivism rate. Criminals punished harshly and excessively are apt to commit criminal acts again. Sure, there's a certain amount of schadenfreude in knowing that the Bad Person is in a cage and suffering for what they did, but... that does nobody any good.

What actually works to reduce crime is a focus on rehabilitation. There are already libtard prisons where the focus is on reform rather than punishment. Inmates are taught useful skills, given remedial education, and there's even a work program for when they get out. Inmates have individual dorms and the freedom to -say- get up in the middle of the night and have a microwave burrito.

There's even classes about emotional management.

In schools where they've replaced detention with meditation and mindfulness sessions, there's been a marked improvement in overall behaviour in the problem students. In prisons where a small pet is the reward for good behaviour, prison violence PLUMMETS.

Interesting that, when you teach people like people, they act like people. Treat people like animals or things... they act out and rebel. I mean - wouldn't you? Yes, yes, I know you think you haven't broken a law in your life, but... try employing that imagination for a second. You can even picture yourself going to jail for a crime you didn't commit. You'd be angry as hell about having your very humanity stripped from you right? Right.

Now imagine if, on the occasion where you did break the law, you got therapy and actual help towards becoming a fully-functioning and decent citizen once out in the real world again. That would be much better. You could even train a dog to be an assistive animal for a disabled kid. Isn't that a much better alternative? Making good folks out of bad folks. That's the libtard dream right there.

You might disagree. In fact, I'm certain you disagree. Once someone is evil, they're evil forever. One wrong act is all that's necessary to plummet into hell. Be good, or suffer the consequences forever.

Except... that's not even what your holy writ says. Every single scripture says: be kind to people. That's the one message that's in every belief in the world. Being angry at people and wanting to see them punished is not kind.

You can try to prove me wrong, but the evidence is there. Kind rehabilitation reduced recidivism. Pets promote peace. Punishment just encourages anger and lashing out. End of.

Free Education

I know, I know; I usually say, "Anything you get for free is worth exactly what you paid for it." That's true. For things. Education is one of those things you can pursue for yourself at zero cost and come away with a profit of knowledge.

Education should be free. Everyone on this earth should know how to read, write, and do arithmetic. They should know how to boil, fry, and bake foodstuffs to make a meal. they should know how to sharpen a knife. They should know how to do basic clothing repairs like sewing a popped seam or re-affixing a lost button. They should know how to properly use an electric drill. Regardless of gender.

These are, to my mind, basic skills that everyone should know. They should be taught as soon as possible because those levels of independence are the foundations to every other decision in life. Let fascination lead the children forward from there, but make certain they know those things.

Once you start charging for knowledge, you close things off. Elitism rears its ugly head, and soon, only certain types of people can have a degree.

Not that great when just about every decent job these days has a degree as a requisite. This is either a means of making sure the "right kind" (usually they mean "right colour") of people work for a company, or a means of keeping employees scared of losing their jobs because how else will they pay off their massive student debt?

It's great for corporations because they can make their minions work harder for less, but not so great for the people working there. Despair has become a for-profit industry and it's about to explode in violent ways if the corporate bodies don't watch out.

Where, exactly, is the moral choice behind making people suffer just so they can build a better life for themselves and their family? How can racking up a massive debt and wasting your life away in the process of paying it off be at all good for anyone?

What's that? You suffered and don't see any reason why anyone else should have to have it easy? That's not very moral of you.

A moral person, once they suffered, would see to it that nobody else had to suffer.

Just face the mirror and call yourself a mean-spirited vindictive dick. It'll save everyone else the time.