Bury Your Black Gays… Again and Again [Spoiler Warning]

It’s confirmed. Steven Moffat really likes killing black gays. And he likes it so much that he’s contrived a method of killing the same black gay over and over and over again. In fact, in World Enough and Time, he kills her, revives her, and does horrible things to her.

He also partially ruined everything by having first Missy and then the Doctor both introduce themselves as Doctor Who. That NEVER happens. That’s the whole joke of bloody fifty years of the series. Thirty-five if you don’t count the fifteen-year “hiatus” when it “wasn’t really cancelled” since the late eighties.

But I digress. Bill Potts has been Target Numero Uno for Moffat since she almost got killed by a puddle and had two potential girlfriends leave her forever. In the episodes Moffat doesn’t write [eg: Thin Ice. He took the credit but someone else wrote it] Bill’s survival chances go way upwards.

I haven’t done the math, but it seems like she dies-but-not-really every other Moffat episode. And every episode where Bill dies, it’s “Oh but she’s not really dead,” via some made-up bullshit that even a ten-year-old can see through in a cold second.

I am sort of glad that this is Moffat’s last hurrah. It might actually mean that other writers will have a chance to let Bill have a girlfriend for longer than ten minutes’ worth of screen time. Or actually spend an entire story arc without winding up sort-of dead.

Moffat is no Miracle Max, and Doctor Who is not the Princess Bride. You can only trot out a trick so many times before the audience yawns or gets cynical about the entire thing. And when fandom gets cynical, they mock the plainly ridiculous.

I can easily imagine fans borrowing a South Park catchphrase if Moffat returns once more to Kill Bill.

Moffat loves being praised for his “clever” writing. AKA – throw enough red herrings at the screen and go with the one that smells the worst. I can’t imagine he’d have much fun knowing that his allegedly hard work is being openly mocked by the fans that have noticed the very suspicious pattern.

No wonder Pearl Mackie is rumoured to be leaving. She’s been repeatedly told by the head honcho that he prefers her dead! There’s no way I’d work in an environment that hostile.

So now we wait for next week, to see what absolute crap Moffat has dredged out of his arse to save Bill once again. I’m betting on black-hole-powered bullshittium this time. Temporal paradox, slingshot around the black hole and put the entire double episode into reverse.

Either that, or she stays a cyberman so that the Doctor can have some ManPain. Because all of Moffat’s episodes are about how fucking fantastic the Doctor is and how it’s all about HIM.

Here’s a challenge for you, Stevie-boy. Write a non-stereotype, non-white, non-heterosexual person WITHOUT giving in to your urge to kill. I’m certain it’s going to be such a tremendous effort for you that you might forget yourself and forget to write in the self-congratulatory back-patting you always end up doing in the last ten minutes of the show.

I’ve shat out better Doctor Who plots and stories over the course of one day per story than Moffat has bothered with in the past ten  years. And it kind’a disgusts me that the BBC would rather pay him to shit all over a script than something I’d do for way less and probably better to boot.

I need to write a script and send it to the BBC with like $5 in the envelope and a letter that boils down to, “Bet you $5 that this is better than anything Moffat ever wrote in his life to date.” I should get noticed on the unmitigated cheek alone. If nothing else, I might just get ten quid out of it.

Worst case scenario, they keep my $5 and tell me to rack off. This means that the BBC never gave a shit about Doctor Who and just plain don’t care.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / michaklootwijk]